每天读点英文幽默故事全集
目 录内容简介
第一部分：两性幽默
1.Her Hubby Has Kept A Mistress In His Office她老公有小蜜，去攀比吧!
2.Mistresses In Restaurant 当老公遇到情人
3.How’s Sex 性生活如何
4.Whose Hubby? 原来不是我老公
5.Running Around With Other Women和别的女人鬼混
6.Who Is His Father？孩子的父亲是谁？
7.A Beautiful,Sexy Young Woman一个漂亮性感的年轻女子
8.I don’t Know Her Very Well Yet我和她不熟
9.Husband’s Typist 丈夫的女打字员
10.The Love Affair 风流事
11.An English Girl 带个英国妞回来
12.Wearing Nothing 一丝不挂
13.Would You Remarry? 那你会再婚吗？
14.Man In The Closet壁橱里的情夫
15.A Lover 情人
16.He Asked Me First他先向我主动索吻了
17.A Great System浴缸里的太太
18.A Doctor’s Affair With His Nurse医生与护士的婚外情
19.The Beautiful Girl? 漂亮女孩？
20.Who Is Her Husband? 谁是她丈夫？
21.Why Were You Watching Me In My Bath? 你为什么偷窥我洗澡？
22.Man In The Fridge躲藏在冰箱里的偷情人
23.Strip Off And Streak老妇裸奔
24.My Wife Was Cheating On Me老婆有外遇
25.Four Floors' Knocking 裸着去开门
26.He Averaged Two Dates A week他平均每周约两个女人
27.Who Cares 美女借宿
28.Female Fans女影迷们
29.Kiss Buttock亲吻屁股
30.He Isn’t Really Your Dad反正他也不是你亲生爸爸
31.Baked Beans And Putting 吃豆放屁
32.One Of The Ladies Is My Wife,The Other One Is My Mistress!妻子正与我小蜜在一起
33.Wife’s Bill“美女”的账单
34.Naked 裸体
35.A Magic Blind Man 盲人闻出情人味
36.I Would Rather Commit Adultery我宁愿犯通奸罪
37.I’ll See To The Rest 我来照管美女
38.Dear,I Like To Do What That Bull Is Doing亲爱的，我真想做那头公牛正在做的事!
39.Husband Was Cheating On Her 当丈夫有婚外情......
40.Your Horse Called 你的“马”来电话啦
41.I’ve Been Having An Affair With Your Best Friend我和你最好的朋友暧昧上了....
42.Women 女人，让我欢喜让我愁
43.Dancing Party舞会
44.I Am Not Able To Take Care Of Three Wives 三个老婆？
45.You Aren’t My Father你不是我亲生爸爸
46.Notes 便条
47.A Pretty Maid 美丽女仆
48.Better Not My Daughter 还好不是我的女儿
49.I Want Her To Go Nuts 我就是要让她发疯
50.My Days Of Fooling Around With College Girls Are Not Over我还能和女大学生们厮混
51.A Kiss A Meter一米布料一个吻
52.Questions And Answers 巧问妙答
53.Some Conversations On Married Life 婚姻百态
54.Were Divorced!我们已经离婚了
55.Husbands Said 丈夫如是说
56.Facts About Women 难懂女人心
57.The Power Of Your Picture 照片给力
第二部分：家庭幽默
1.HE Walks Everywhere HE Goes 耶稣从不开车
2.Coming With You 父子离家
3.Father And Son 父亲和儿子
4.Who’s In Heaven? 谁在天堂？
5.Rejuvenation Pill 返老还童药片
6.They Won’t Let Me Fart 就是不准我放屁
7.Pious Wishes 虔诚心愿
8.Big Game Mishap倒霉的雄狮
9.Role Reversal角色转换
10.A Bargain物美价廉
11.Dating Service 交友服务
12.Perfect Woman 完美女友
13.The Divorce 离婚
14.Till The Last Minute 直至最后一分钟
15.Men’s Club 男士俱乐部
16.The Best Time 最佳时机
17.Your Son Called 你的儿子打电话来了
18.A Change Of Mind 回心转意
19.That Is My Husband 那是我老公
20.To Be A Sensitive Man做一个敏感的人
21.Your Children And My Children Are Whipping Our Children孩子们在打架
22.A Puzzling Problem 难题
23.But I See Five Donkeys 我看见五头驴
24.It’s For The Funeral 为葬礼准备的
25.Endearing Terms 甜言蜜语
26.The Day Off From Work 丈夫休息在家
27.They Just Had Quintuplets你也想生五胞胎？
28.Quick Fix 权宜之计
29.I Just Lost Two Dollars我只损失两美元
30.Tightwad 吝啬鬼
31.Tell Him To Drop Dead!叫他去死!
32.How Many Vice Presidents副主管多着呢
33.He Made His Own Lunch 他自个儿准备的午饭
34.I Didn’t Do It 我什么也没做
35.You Forget Again!你又忘了!
36.Fifty/Fifty 五五对半分
37.I Had Him Buried Upside Down!脸朝下葬
38.Flatterer？马屁精？
39.Very Smelly Feet 你的脚真臭
40.A Nice Stone 上好的墓碑
41.Thirty Years Younger Than Me 比我年轻30岁
42.What Are You Going To Do This Evening? 你今天晚上要干什么去？
43.It Was Too Late为时已晚
44.Still A Bum 混世小子
45.Son Wears Fathers Clothes 子穿父装
46.The Scholar’s Logic 学者的逻辑
47.A Letter From Mom 妈妈的来信
48.You Don’t Look Like An Old Lady At All你看起来一点都不像个老妇人
49.The Missing Husband 失踪的丈夫
50.My Wife Makes All Small Decisions小事老婆说了算
51.Try The Hat试帽子
52.Domestic Thief 家贼
53.The Allergy过敏
54.New Suit新套服
55.If I Was In It 我在里面
56.A Stingy Man小气鬼
57.A Honeymoon Couple蜜月夫妇
58.Say Goodbye To MotherInLaw 与丈母娘道别
59.That’s One! 吁!
60.One Stringed Instrument单弦乐器
61.It’s Unnecessary To See God With A Present见上帝是没必要带礼物
62.A lucky Customer幸运的顾客
63.Cat Hating Husband讨厌猫的丈夫
64.Let Him Worry!烦恼给房东!
65.Say Good Bye To Canadian Winter 拜拜了，该死的加拿大冬天
66.My Wife Doesn’t Lay Eggs 我媳妇可不下蛋
67.A Monkey like Husband 丈夫像猴
68.The Perfect Husband完美丈夫
69.Twins双胞胎
70.A Penny Pincher 守财奴
71.Brave And Brainy 智勇双全
72.I Don’t Want It Either我也不想要了
73.How will I Find My Ring There? 找戒指
74.The Hard Five Minutes 难忍的五分钟
75.A Brand New Scale崭新的体重计
76.The Bum 流浪汉
77.Is The Car Yours? 这车是你的吗？
78.Nothing to Help 帮倒忙
79.Old Habit 江山易改，本性难移
80.A Few Tips小贴士
81.Don’t Try These Techniques At Home在家时不要尝试这些技巧
第三部分：天真童趣
1.Two Cents A Glass 两分一杯
2.Why Do You Let Her Go About Naked？为什么她可以不穿衣服到处乱走？
3.Under The Wagon你爸在哪里？
4.Whose baby is it? 谁的宝宝？
5.A Good Boy 好孩子
6.Drunk老爸喝醉了
7.You Got An F On Sex你的‘性’成绩‘不及格’
8.Excited Remarks 兴奋的话
9.Patty Is Dead 派蒂死了
10.Goldfish埋金鱼
11.Talking On The Telephone 和上帝通电话
12.God Is Missing 上帝哪儿去了
13.A Moron Is A Moron 傻子就是傻子
14.No Word About Ears 决不提耳朵
15.A Trick To Save Money 攒钱小花招
16.Why Are Some Hairs White? 为什么有白头发？
17.They Are Looking For Me 找我呢
18.You Can Be The husband.I Can Be Your Wife你做我老公，我做你老婆
19.Making Others Glad使他人快乐
20.Definitely 屎拉在裤子里啦
21.Jesus Is In The Bathroom耶稣在卫生间里
22.The Audience And The Son观众和儿子
23.A Useful Lesson带儿子去喝酒
24.The Young Archer 年轻的弓箭手
25.List Your Sins列出你的过错
26.One Place Ahead 前进一名
27.The World Is Going To End 世界末日
28.It’s Hard To Tell One From The Other双胞胎难辨
29.You Are Afraid Of Mamma就怕老妈
30.Have His Cap Back 魔法帽子
31.The Consciousness Of Safety 安全意识
32.Piss And Sing 我想唱歌
33.Arithmetic Lesson算数作业
34.The Reason behind It 原来如此
35.Follow One’s Father 效仿老爸
36.A Gentleman 绅士
37.A Holiday from School假期
38.Stupid Orders 愚蠢的命令
39.Violin Lessons小提琴课
40.Letter To The Lord 写给上帝的信
41.How Do You Get Pregnant Then? 妈，你是怎么怀孕的呢？
42.Mom Put Us To Bed This Way Last Night妈妈昨晚让我们穿成这样睡的觉
43.Only One Cake Left 只剩一块蛋糕了
44.Why Does It Rain On The Road Too? 雨为什么也要下在路上呢？
45.Daddy，You Are Taking All The Good Ones 爸爸，你净拣好的吃
46.Little John Buys The Bread.小约翰买面包
47.She Wants To Keep Them她想占有它们
48.How You Work Out That Three Lots Of Two Rabbits Is seven 三组两只兔子加成七只?
49.Where’s My Booger? 我的鼻屎呢？
第四部分：名人幽默
1.Franklin Likes Gambling富兰克林打赌
2.President Reagon And Republicans里根与共和党人
3.Clinton Proposed To Hilary克林顿向希拉里求婚
4.President Anderson And the Devil 安德森总统与魔鬼
5.Clinton' Tragedy克林顿的“杯具”
6.If You Graduate from Yale,You Become President耶鲁出总统
7.The Queen Almost Gets Back To 1700s 小布什总统的口误
8.Bathe On Behalf Of Me 替霍夫曼洗澡
9.Tent Stolen 福尔摩斯的帐篷被偷
10.Let My Driver Answer It 爱因斯坦与司机
11.Worn Out Overcoat 爱因斯坦的破烂外套
12.OfftheCuff Remarks 丘吉尔的即兴妙语
13.Franklin 多才多艺的富兰克林
14.'The Pope Is Never Wrong' is Not True教皇永无过错？
15.Robert Scholz ' Hot Soup 肖尔兹要的热汤
16.Making up Stories 狄更斯编故事
17.Questions For George Bush 向布什总统提问题
18.Madonna,Britney And Christina 麦当娜等当红歌星
19.Which Is More Powerful 赫鲁晓夫更臭
20.Put Up With Her For Only 15 Minutes 林肯总统的无奈
21.Have No More Room For A Vice President 杰弗逊副总统没有客房住
22.Neither Am I The Vice President奥巴马不适做副总统
23.Clone Another Cheney 克隆一个副总统切尼
24.I Am A Sacrifice To The Terrible Epidemic Now 小布什总统嘴巴染上了口蹄疫
25.It Is A Shoe Size 10 小布什遭鞋袭
26.Wall Street Drank Too Much And Had A Hangover 布什：“华尔街喝高了”
27.Only Child Was Born There 华盛顿：“这里只有一个婴儿出生”
28.Rescue Clinton In The River克林顿河中获救
29.The Pope Himself Drives教皇本人亲自开车
30.One Way Street Wilson 我行我素的威尔逊
31.Candidates In The Air空中的总统候选人
32.What Did He Eat? 牛顿“吃饭”
33.A Story Of Jimmy Durante 杜兰特的单口相声
34.The General Theory Of Relativity爱因斯坦的相对论
35.Change Is Coming奥巴马：改变终会来临
36.A Strange Creature达尔文:奇怪的生物
37.Is the General Expecting You? 将军在等你吗？
38.Fred Allen The Foremost Humorist 弗雷德?艾伦，一位优秀的幽默家
第五部分：职场幽默
1.Business Just Started事业刚起步
2.Pink Suit Sale 粉红外套卖出去了
3.Ask For A Job With The Circus 马戏团的工作
4.The Generous Bosses 对我姐姐慷慨的老板
5.In Three Months' Time 三个月后再来干
6.Make Him A Conductor让他当乐队指挥
7.Hair Cutting 理发
8.Something Cheaper? 更便宜的
9.The Eager Beaver 工作狂
10.Editor’s Reply 编辑的答复
11.Volunteer Firemen志愿消防员
12.Encore!!返场
13.Parking A Car In A Bank 富翁停车
14.Job Interview 面试回答
15.Five Hundred Times 写上五百遍吧
16.A Real Estate Salesman推销房子
17.The Perplexed Clerk 困惑的店员
18.What If...如果…咋办？
19.Are Blind Pilots Flying? 盲人飞行员？
20.To Have His Hair Cut During Working Hours上班时间去理发
21.Musical Interlude 音乐插曲
22.An Amazing Salesman 不可思议的销售员
23.That’s Your Worry 那是你的事
24.Prepare Three Envelopes 锦囊妙计
25.In Prison VS.At Work 监狱与单位
26.Someone’s Deodorant Isnt Working谁的除臭剂不管用了？
27.The Correct Answer 最接近正确答案
28.Don’t Eat A Person Who Is Working 别吃干活的人
29.A1 Laundry顶级洗衣店
30.I Haven’t Got A Penny 身无分文
31.It’s An Extra另行收费
32.No Nuisance 省去麻烦
33.Post Haste 紧急邮递
34.That Smells Like Shit闻着像大便啊!
35.They Are Still Damp!床单还潮着哩!
36.A Wise Mans Advice 金玉良言
37.I Have Done It!我成功了!
38.I Am Not Stupid 我又不傻
39.Genuine Alligator Shoes真正的鳄鱼皮鞋
40.Nonconformist 另类分子
41.Please,Please Drop It!求求你，请放下它!
42.Successfully Or Unsuccessfully 胜任还是不胜任
43.The Wise Manager 聪明的经理
44.Did That Take You An Hour? 这花了你一个小时？
45.Wrong Number拨错号了
46.Anything Works? 什么有用？
47.Worst Waiter Of The Year年度最烂服务员
48.Is There Another Door? 还有其它门吗？
49.How To Answer? 如何回答？
50.Told You So告诉过你了
51.Who’s The Foreman 到底谁才是领班
52.Two Candidates For Political Office两个政府职务候选人
53.Reasons To Stay At Work All Night 成宿加班的理由
第六部分：医患幽默
1.Problem With Gas 医治放屁
2.The Warm Hearted Nurse 热心的护士
3.The Patient Suffered A Severe Relapse病情再度恶化
4.A Phone Call Of A Patient 一位病人的来电
5.Brain Transplant 大脑移植
6.Extract Wisdom Teeth 拔掉智齿
7.Psychiatrist精神病医生
8.Mental Deficiency诊断智力缺陷
9.Your Tongue Needs A Rest舌头也要休息好
10.Mary’s Heroic Act 患者救他人
11.Doctor’s Advice 医生的药方
12.Get The Cat Out First 先把猫弄出来
13.How Many Can Be Discharged 多少人能出院
14.A Brand New Brain 全新大脑
15.No Need To See A Doctor不必求医
16.A Man With Two Badly Burned Ears一个两只耳朵严重烧伤的男人
17.Expectant Fathers 准爸爸们
18.Use A Pencil 用铅笔吧!
19.You’re Going To Die!你快死啦!
20.Dead Men Do Bleed!死人真的流血呀!
21.Crazy But Not Stupid 疯狂但不愚蠢
22.God Will Pay The Bill 上帝付药费
23.Six Months To Live 最后六个月的时光
24.Surgeons 外科医生
25.Confusion 思维混乱
26.Diet At Lunchtime 午餐节食
27.The Face Lift整容
28.Is She Pregnant? 六十三岁老太婆怀孕？
29.We’d Better Perform A Caesarean还是剖腹产吧
30.That Is All She Needs这就是你太太所需要的......
31.It’s Rather Personal 这太隐私了
32.Belly Button 肚脐
33.You Must Be An Expert你一定是位专家!
34.A Newly Qualified Doctor一名新医生
35.A Reason To Live For 活着的理由
36.What The Heck Is Wrong With My Wife?我太太究竟怎么了
37.Poisonous Or Not 中毒没有
38.I’m Watching“ER”我正看《急诊室》哩!
39.Who Is The Patient? 谁是病人？
40.What Are You Doing By The Surgical Instruments? 你在手术器械旁边干什么
41.I’m An Obstetrician 我是个产科医生
42.I’ve Changed My Will Three Times!我的遗嘱已经修改三次了
43.On The Operating Table Awaiting Surgery在手术台上等待接受手术
第七部分：军营幽默
1.Punishment 惩罚
2.A Colonel On A Tour Of Inspection 上校视察
3.Protect Himself 保护自己
4.Woman Army Driver And Sergeant女司机与中士
5.Cover The Shadow With Sand 用沙子遮住影子
6.What’s Your Name? 你叫什么名字，士兵？
7.The Guard and The Smuggler哨兵查走私
8.Captain And His Sister 上尉的“妹妹”
9.I Missed Again 总是脱靶
10.Take his Weapon away from Him 夺走武器
11.That Officer Was Not Popular 该死的长官
12.A Soldier Asked For Marriage小兵请婚嫁
13.Two Soldiers两个士兵
14.Report To The Commander马上去见司令官
15.A Sergeant And A Dope 中士和蠢货
16.Midshipman Sleeps In Class 军校生上课睡觉
17.Two Sailors And A Baby两名水兵和一个娃娃
18.Go Away From The Battle逃兵
19.Officer,My Wife Is Getting Pregnant This Weekend长官，我妻子这周末准备怀孕
第八部分：校园幽默
1.Unavoidable Tricks 恶作剧
2.What Do They Laugh For? 他们在笑些什么
3.Sleep Over Lectures课上睡觉
4.We Are Here!我们来了!
5.Professor’s Logic 教授逻辑
6.Who Killed Abraham Lincoln 谁暗杀了林肯
7.A Boy’s ABC’s 男孩的基本情况
8.Part Time Job 学生兼职工作
9.Knock It Off,You Idiot!白痴，别敲了!
10.Plagiarism论文抄袭
11.A Girl’s Examination美女参加考试
12.Classmates Play Tricks On Each Other捉弄学友
13.Kidding不是在开玩笑吧？
14.A Skeleton Smoking 骷髅吸烟
15.A Naughty Student 淘气的学生
16.Copy The Notes 抄笔记
17.Cheating On Test考试作弊
18.Whiskey Does You Good威士忌有助身体健康
19.I Am The Goalie我是守门员!
20.Freshmen Versus Seniors 新生和老生
21.Student’s Reaction学生的反应
22.A Lesson On The Blood Circulation血液循环的课
23.You Are Stupid 你太愚蠢了
24.How To Clean The Mirror In The Toilet如何清洗卫生间的镜子
25.I Get A Zero On This Exam？本次考试我得零分？
26.A History Teacher and His Questions历史老师提的问题
27.Who’s The First Man 谁是世界上第一个人
28.Engineering VS.English Majors 工科学生与英专学生
29.Two Students Missing An Exam补考
30.An Unexpected Answer 意料之外的回答
31.Why Are You Laughing? 孩子们，你们笑什么？
32.Napoleon Was Ill 拿破仑生病了
33.How Much For A Season Pass? 办一个季度通行证要多少钱？
34.A Tough Teacher强悍的老师
35.An English Name起一个英文名字
36.Lecturing On Map Reading讲解如何看地图
第九部分：宗教幽默
1.Donate To Remodel The Church 捐款修建教堂
2.Blonde Sister 金发修女
3.Adultery通奸罪
4.The Young Priest 年轻牧师
5.The Cabdriver And The Preacher 出租车司机与传教士
6.My God我的上帝
7.Sleep During The Sermon 布道时打瞌睡
8.The Country Parson 乡村传教士
9.A Sin About Lying 说谎之恶
10.Praise God!感谢上帝!
11.A Problem With Dentures 牧师的假牙
12.A True Confession!诚实忏悔
13.Jesus“Saves” 耶稣“救人”
14.Complain Too Much牢骚太多
15.Selling At church Bazaar 教堂的义卖市场
16.The Archbishop Is Your Father大主教才是你的父亲
17.Black Eyed Buddy 唱圣歌的时挨打的君子
18.The Minister Helps The Man To Lose Weight神父助人减肥
19.The Parishioners And The Local Beauty Queen教民们窥看美女的....
20.Three Good Leads 牧师提供的偷情线索
21.God Got Mad上帝抓狂了
22.Do You Know What I Am Going To Preach Today? 知道我今天布道讲什么吗？
23.HE Didn’t Recognize You 上帝没认出你
24.My Dog Ate My Sermon狗吃掉了我的布道稿
25.A Nun At A Bar 修女也沾酒
26.A Better Offer 许了更好的愿
27.Church Talk 教堂语言
28.Soap And Water 肥皂、水与狗
29.Praying Before Meal饭前祷告
30.An Atheist 无神论者
31.Causes Of Arthritis关节炎起因
32.Mexican Food 墨西哥食物
33.A Screen Saver 都是屏保惹的祸
34.A Nun In The Costume Of Halloween 冒牌修女
35.Thanks To God感谢上帝
36.HE Wants To Talk With You 上帝要跟你聊聊
37.Between Church And State 政教之间
38.Money,Children And Sex 金钱，孩子和性
39.Some Twist 出乎牧师的意料
第十部分：酒吧宾馆
1.We Are Going To The Sun At Night 我们夜晚去太阳上面
2.A Sad Story悲惨故事
3.Would You Like A Shave Or A Haircut? 要刮胡子还是理头？
4.You Drink My poison......你还喝了我的毒药……
5.Nail Or Fly 钉子还是蝇子？
6.A Perfectly Calm Guest 一个相当镇定的房客
7.A Clean Glass 干净的杯子
8.Get Rid Of Wine 戒酒
9.A Drunken Man 一个醉鬼
10.I Want To Get Out 我要出去
11.Go Ice Fishing In The Ice Rink 冰场钓鱼
12.What’s The Problem? 怎么回事？
13.You Are The No.8 鱼儿上钩
14.Enough Or Drunk 喝够还是喝醉
15.Crawl To His Home 爬回家去
16.Photo 老婆的照片
17.I Can Bite My Eye 我能咬到自己的眼睛
18.A Bet In A Bar 酒吧打赌
19.Golden Saloon金色酒吧
20.Gay Family 同性恋家
21.Give Me My Change 快点找钱
22.Twins Are drunk At A Pub 双胞胎醉酒
23.Whisky Expert 品酒专家
24.Learn To Be More Polite 有礼貌点？
25.The Fearless One无畏之人
26.Two Befuddled Visitors 两位糊涂旅客
27.My First Day With The Hook第一次用钩子手
28.Very Large Toilet巨大的马桶
29.Wait and See 等着瞧
30.Free Dessert 免费甜点
31.Bring Me Another Martini!再给我拿一杯马提尼酒来!
32.Expensive Crackers 昂贵的饼干
33.The Other Half另一半
34.She Knows McDonalds Only 她只知道麦当劳
35.We’re Out Of Buns面包圈没有了
第十一部分：律师法庭
1.An old Negro 老黑头
2.Man Is Mistaken As A Bear 把人误当为熊
3.Perfect Contradiction 绝佳反击
4.And More Stupid 蠢上加蠢
5.Two More Words 再说两句
6.Win The Case 打赢官司
7.A Box Of Cigars 送雪茄给法官
8.What Will You Take？你想要什么？
9.Stealing Overcoat 偷大衣
10.One Side Of The Case 只听一面之辞
11.How to win the case 如何打赢官司
12.The Will 遗嘱趣事
13.One Less Lawyer 又少了一个律师
14.Free Advice? 免费咨询？
15.Why Is Lawyer Brain So Much More? 律师脑贵
16.A Check Given To A Dead 亡灵支票
17.Honest？你诚实吗？
18.Who Is Responsible？谁的责任
19.Have You Ceased Beating Your Wife? 你停止打你老婆了吗？
20.A Can Of Peas 还偷了一罐豌豆
21.A Divorce Lawyer 离婚律师
22.The Court Procedures法庭程序
23.The Jury Is To Convene In The Guilty Room陪审团到有罪室开会
24.Jesus Christ Is My Counselor And Defender耶稣基督就是我的辩护人和保护人
25.Sentenced To Death By Hanging Over The Cliff 在悬崖上执行绞刑
第十二部分：警察交通
1.Traffic lights 交通灯
2.The Motorcycler 骑摩托车的人
3.Tickets 罚单
4.Confusion In Compartment 车厢内的骚动
5.First Class Section 蹭头等舱
6.The Designated Decoy 引警察上钩
7.First Ride 第一次巡逻
8.A Good Solution好办法
9.Where Is My Rolex 我的劳力士呢？
10.A Bad Impression不良印象
11.A Good Lesson难忘的教训
12.A Flattered Man 受宠若惊
13.In The Directory 在电话簿里
14.Driving A Funeral Van 开殡葬车
15.A Test For Drunk Driving 醉酒驾车检测
16.A Good Excuse 绝佳借口
17.A Business Trip 出差
18.You Are Not The Flight Instructor? 上错飞机
19.But,officer,I......可是，警官，我......
20.The Drivers Wife 司机老婆
21.A Patient Mother 耐心的妈妈
22.Don’t Be Frightened!别害怕!
23.The Police Chase 警察的追捕
24.Are You Feeling Better Now? 现在感觉好些了吗？
25.The Worried Farmer 忧愁的农夫
26.How Do You Stop This Car？你是怎么停车的？
27.Where Am I我在哪儿呢
28.Back Home In A Police Car 警车送回家
29.Magic Words 神奇密语
30.How To Get The Different People To Jump Overboard 因人制宜
31.Rush For The Ticket 买票狂人
32.A Bank Stickup抢银行
33.Highway Patrol And Math Teacher高速公路巡警与数学老师
34.A New Recruit新来的警员
35.A Psychic Suspect 通灵的嫌疑犯
36.Finally Know Why I Never Made Detective我终于明白我为什么没当上探长了
37.Caught Speeding 超速被抓后
38.Bank Bankruptcy 银行破产
第十三部分：文字幽默
1.I Did Not See The Word NOT我没看见“不”字
2.How Old Are You?您多大了？
3.I Don’t Like That我不喜欢听那种话
4.Keys? Kiss? 是钥匙还是亲吻？
5.The Sign Is No Need 不必挂牌
6.Skip To Lose Weight 跳跃减肥
7.The Idiot Gave The Babies Names 白痴起名
8.An Elephant And A Lady 大象和女士
9.The Pot Which Has Had a Baby 会生小罐子的罐子
10.Ditto同上
11.Do Not Disturb 请勿打扰
12.That’s Not What I Meant我不是那个意思
13.He Changes His Names改名字
14.Not For Sale 非廉价出售
15.Changing Letter 多变的字母
16.I,You And She 遣词造句
17.Class,Lass And Ass 班级，情妇和蠢驴
18.Cow=Bullfight? 奶牛=斗牛？
19.Chinese English 中式发音
20.What’s The English For This这个用英语怎么说
21.Complicated Name 复杂的名字
22.One’Way Street单行道
23.Coldwater 凉水
24.He Missed One letter少写了一个字母
25.Mr.D.And Mr.N.两个傻帽
26.The Greeks Did希腊人遇到麻烦了
27.False Advertising 虚假广告
28.The Post Office Box 邮政信箱
29.Mr.Knott and Mr.Watt 布先生和沈麻先生
30.You’re The Man Who Needs A Shower 你就是那个要淋浴的
31.With Deepest Sympathy 致以深深的吊唁......
32.Translation Not Found 未能找到译文
33.Cheap But Good 价廉物美
34.Moving Target活动靶子
35.Miracle From Practices 反复练习出奇迹
36.A Singular Justification 一面之词
37.Synonym = Bad language同义词就是骂人的话
38.A Panda Walks into a Bar 熊猫进酒吧
39.Bank 河岸？银行？
40.Catch My Eye 令我着迷
41.Women’s Language Translate 女人的话
42.Socks 男人们的袜子
43.My Broken Shoes? 我的破鞋？
44.The W.C.Story 卫生间(W.C.)趣事
45.Do It Now 现在就做
46.Killer,Get Him!杀手，咬他!
47.I Want To Be A.....我想做一名......
48.Glossary 如此释义
49.Would And Wood愿意与木头
50.One Month Overdue 一个月没来
51.Proxy Fathers 代理父亲
第十四部分：动物幽默
1.The Dog Doesn’t Know狗不知道
2.Clever Dog 聪明的狗
3.Dog Temperament 狗的性情
4.Whose Dog Was The Smartest 谁的狗最聪明
5.Shut Up,You Idiot 闭嘴，你这白痴
6.The Way To Chase Away Chickens把鸡赶走的方法
7.Processing Color Film 洗彩色照片
8.What Did The Chicken Do? 那只鸡犯了什么错？
9.Who Is It?!谁呀？!
10.Beware Of Dog!当心有狗!
11.Elephant VS Ants Soccer Game 大象对蚂蚁的足球赛
12.Mr.Bear And Mr.Rabbit 熊先生和兔先生
13.The Centipede Puts On Its Shoes 蜈蚣穿鞋
14.A Drunken Cab 螃蟹喝醉
15.You Know That你知道我要说什么
16.An Intelligent Dog 精明的狗
17.The Rabbit’s Trick 兔子的诡计
18.Get the Umbrella 小乌龟取伞
19.The Spider Goes Deaf 蜘蛛变聋
20.Cat And Mouse 猫和老鼠
21.Blind Bunny瞎眼的兔子
22.Doggie Contest 狗狗们的竞赛
23.A Bilingual Dog 会说两门语言的狗
24.Whose Dog Is This 谁的狗
25.A False Friend 虚假的朋友
26.Mousetrap And Mouse Picture捕鼠器与老鼠照片
27.You Believe A Donkey ? 相信驴的话
28.Then Where Is My Cat? 那我的猫去哪儿了？
29.Ambitious Dog Mother 望子成龙的母狗
30.Male Pigeons Always Eat Female Worms,Female Pigeons 雄鸽总是吃母虫,而雌鸽......
31.Catty Cat 阴险的猫
第十五部分：综合幽默
1.A Fishy Story钓鱼故事
2.I’m A Grandfather!我当爷爷了!
3.Two Smart Blind Men两个聪明的盲人
4.A Boring Man 无聊之人
5.I Want The Bastard That Pushed Me In 谁在捣鬼
6.Sperm Bank 精子银行遭劫
7.Water Or Wine? 水还是红酒？
8.Extend The Life Of Fans 为电扇延寿
9.The Watermelon 西瓜
10.I Am Lucky 我很幸运
11.Placing Stamps On A Letter 给信封贴邮票
12.How Did You Know He Was A Bandit? 你怎么知道他是个强盗？
13.An Englishman And A French Barber 英国人和法国理发师
14.It Is Me 那是我
15.Who Is Shakespeare 莎士比亚是谁
16.Birthday Rose 生日玫瑰
17.Gave It A Drink 喝茶
18.She Wouldn’t Jump A Second Time 她不会跳第二次
19.This Hole In The Ground 地上的洞
20.Dropped A Piece Of Candy掉了一小块糖
21.Special Kiss 特殊的亲吻
22.The Deaf Collector 聋子收钱
23.Smoker 吸烟的女士
24.I Am Acting Like A Lady 表现得像女士
25.I’m Calling To Report My Neighbor 检举揭发
26.Pay For The Mother 为“妈”埋单
27.Grass Eater 吃草的人
28.A Trick Does Long Way 一招解决大问题
29.The Servants Ruse仆人的诡计
30.City Fellow 城里人
30.City Fellow 城里人
32.I Am Not Afraid Of You 我可不怕你们
33.Some People Will Never Learn 有些人永远也不肯接受教训
34.Eat,Coat!大衣，你吃吧!
35.Don’t Let Him In 别让他进来
36.Why Don’t We Find That Woman? 我们为什么不找到那个女人？
37.The Snow On The Path 小路上的雪
38.A Funnier Joke我这个更有趣
39.The Man and the Chair 两个男人抢椅子
40.Small Frying Pan 煎锅太小
41.That Man Knows The Future 能预知未来的人
42.Don’t Forget To Look To The Right 别忘了向右看
43.We Didn’t Step On It 还好没踩到
44.The Discovery探索发现
45.One Egg Less少了一个
46.Who Should Change? 谁该换？
47.A Burglar Can’t Find Me Either贼也找不到我
48.Queue Jump 插队
49.Pick Out Your Husband.挑出你丈夫
50.I Can Turn Him Off Whenever I Please我可以随意把他给关掉
51.That’s My Husband我的丈夫在车里
52.Good Marksmanship 好枪法
53.Who Should Take It 这药该谁吃
54.Try On Clothes 试衣服
55.Pushed The Wrong Button按错了按钮
56.Can You Tell Me Where We Are? 您可以告诉我这是什么地方吗
57.Not A Good Excuse 不是个好借口
58.Im An Undertaker 我是殡仪馆的
59.Good Morning,Garden Cemetery早上好，这里是花园墓地
60.Which Is Which? 雌雄难辨
61.Get Out Of Here! 你给我滚出去!
62.Hi Hi Hi Hi It!Whi Whi Whi Whi End? 打打打打呀!哪哪哪哪头啊？
63.Not Want to be an Artist 不想当画家
1.Her Hubby Has Kept A Mistress In His Office她老公有小蜜，去攀比吧!
2.Mistresses In Restaurant 当老公遇到情人
3.How’s Sex 性生活如何
4.Whose Hubby? 原来不是我老公
5.Running Around With Other Women和别的女人鬼混
6.Who Is His Father？孩子的父亲是谁？
7.A Beautiful,Sexy Young Woman一个漂亮性感的年轻女子
8.I don’t Know Her Very Well Yet我和她不熟
9.Husband’s Typist 丈夫的女打字员
10.The Love Affair 风流事
11.An English Girl 带个英国妞回来
12.Wearing Nothing 一丝不挂
13.Would You Remarry? 那你会再婚吗？
14.Man In The Closet壁橱里的情夫
15.A Lover 情人
16.He Asked Me First他先向我主动索吻了
17.A Great System浴缸里的太太
18.A Doctor’s Affair With His Nurse医生与护士的婚外情
19.The Beautiful Girl? 漂亮女孩？
20.Who Is Her Husband? 谁是她丈夫？
21.Why Were You Watching Me In My Bath? 你为什么偷窥我洗澡？
22.Man In The Fridge躲藏在冰箱里的偷情人
23.Strip Off And Streak老妇裸奔
24.My Wife Was Cheating On Me老婆有外遇
25.Four Floors' Knocking 裸着去开门
26.He Averaged Two Dates A week他平均每周约两个女人
27.Who Cares 美女借宿
28.Female Fans女影迷们
29.Kiss Buttock亲吻屁股
30.He Isn’t Really Your Dad反正他也不是你亲生爸爸
31.Baked Beans And Putting 吃豆放屁
32.One Of The Ladies Is My Wife,The Other One Is My Mistress!妻子正与我小蜜在一起
33.Wife’s Bill“美女”的账单
34.Naked 裸体
35.A Magic Blind Man 盲人闻出情人味
36.I Would Rather Commit Adultery我宁愿犯通奸罪
37.I’ll See To The Rest 我来照管美女
38.Dear,I Like To Do What That Bull Is Doing亲爱的，我真想做那头公牛正在做的事!
39.Husband Was Cheating On Her 当丈夫有婚外情......
40.Your Horse Called 你的“马”来电话啦
41.I’ve Been Having An Affair With Your Best Friend我和你最好的朋友暧昧上了....
42.Women 女人，让我欢喜让我愁
43.Dancing Party舞会
44.I Am Not Able To Take Care Of Three Wives 三个老婆？
45.You Aren’t My Father你不是我亲生爸爸
46.Notes 便条
47.A Pretty Maid 美丽女仆
48.Better Not My Daughter 还好不是我的女儿
49.I Want Her To Go Nuts 我就是要让她发疯
50.My Days Of Fooling Around With College Girls Are Not Over我还能和女大学生们厮混
51.A Kiss A Meter一米布料一个吻
52.Questions And Answers 巧问妙答
53.Some Conversations On Married Life 婚姻百态
54.Were Divorced!我们已经离婚了
55.Husbands Said 丈夫如是说
56.Facts About Women 难懂女人心
57.The Power Of Your Picture 照片给力
第二部分：家庭幽默
1.HE Walks Everywhere HE Goes 耶稣从不开车
2.Coming With You 父子离家
3.Father And Son 父亲和儿子
4.Who’s In Heaven? 谁在天堂？
5.Rejuvenation Pill 返老还童药片
6.They Won’t Let Me Fart 就是不准我放屁
7.Pious Wishes 虔诚心愿
8.Big Game Mishap倒霉的雄狮
9.Role Reversal角色转换
10.A Bargain物美价廉
11.Dating Service 交友服务
12.Perfect Woman 完美女友
13.The Divorce 离婚
14.Till The Last Minute 直至最后一分钟
15.Men’s Club 男士俱乐部
16.The Best Time 最佳时机
17.Your Son Called 你的儿子打电话来了
18.A Change Of Mind 回心转意
19.That Is My Husband 那是我老公
20.To Be A Sensitive Man做一个敏感的人
21.Your Children And My Children Are Whipping Our Children孩子们在打架
22.A Puzzling Problem 难题
23.But I See Five Donkeys 我看见五头驴
24.It’s For The Funeral 为葬礼准备的
25.Endearing Terms 甜言蜜语
26.The Day Off From Work 丈夫休息在家
27.They Just Had Quintuplets你也想生五胞胎？
28.Quick Fix 权宜之计
29.I Just Lost Two Dollars我只损失两美元
30.Tightwad 吝啬鬼
31.Tell Him To Drop Dead!叫他去死!
32.How Many Vice Presidents副主管多着呢
33.He Made His Own Lunch 他自个儿准备的午饭
34.I Didn’t Do It 我什么也没做
35.You Forget Again!你又忘了!
36.Fifty/Fifty 五五对半分
37.I Had Him Buried Upside Down!脸朝下葬
38.Flatterer？马屁精？
39.Very Smelly Feet 你的脚真臭
40.A Nice Stone 上好的墓碑
41.Thirty Years Younger Than Me 比我年轻30岁
42.What Are You Going To Do This Evening? 你今天晚上要干什么去？
43.It Was Too Late为时已晚
44.Still A Bum 混世小子
45.Son Wears Fathers Clothes 子穿父装
46.The Scholar’s Logic 学者的逻辑
47.A Letter From Mom 妈妈的来信
48.You Don’t Look Like An Old Lady At All你看起来一点都不像个老妇人
49.The Missing Husband 失踪的丈夫
50.My Wife Makes All Small Decisions小事老婆说了算
51.Try The Hat试帽子
52.Domestic Thief 家贼
53.The Allergy过敏
54.New Suit新套服
55.If I Was In It 我在里面
56.A Stingy Man小气鬼
57.A Honeymoon Couple蜜月夫妇
58.Say Goodbye To MotherInLaw 与丈母娘道别
59.That’s One! 吁!
60.One Stringed Instrument单弦乐器
61.It’s Unnecessary To See God With A Present见上帝是没必要带礼物
62.A lucky Customer幸运的顾客
63.Cat Hating Husband讨厌猫的丈夫
64.Let Him Worry!烦恼给房东!
65.Say Good Bye To Canadian Winter 拜拜了，该死的加拿大冬天
66.My Wife Doesn’t Lay Eggs 我媳妇可不下蛋
67.A Monkey like Husband 丈夫像猴
68.The Perfect Husband完美丈夫
69.Twins双胞胎
70.A Penny Pincher 守财奴
71.Brave And Brainy 智勇双全
72.I Don’t Want It Either我也不想要了
73.How will I Find My Ring There? 找戒指
74.The Hard Five Minutes 难忍的五分钟
75.A Brand New Scale崭新的体重计
76.The Bum 流浪汉
77.Is The Car Yours? 这车是你的吗？
78.Nothing to Help 帮倒忙
79.Old Habit 江山易改，本性难移
80.A Few Tips小贴士
81.Don’t Try These Techniques At Home在家时不要尝试这些技巧
第三部分：天真童趣
1.Two Cents A Glass 两分一杯
2.Why Do You Let Her Go About Naked？为什么她可以不穿衣服到处乱走？
3.Under The Wagon你爸在哪里？
4.Whose baby is it? 谁的宝宝？
5.A Good Boy 好孩子
6.Drunk老爸喝醉了
7.You Got An F On Sex你的‘性’成绩‘不及格’
8.Excited Remarks 兴奋的话
9.Patty Is Dead 派蒂死了
10.Goldfish埋金鱼
11.Talking On The Telephone 和上帝通电话
12.God Is Missing 上帝哪儿去了
13.A Moron Is A Moron 傻子就是傻子
14.No Word About Ears 决不提耳朵
15.A Trick To Save Money 攒钱小花招
16.Why Are Some Hairs White? 为什么有白头发？
17.They Are Looking For Me 找我呢
18.You Can Be The husband.I Can Be Your Wife你做我老公，我做你老婆
19.Making Others Glad使他人快乐
20.Definitely 屎拉在裤子里啦
21.Jesus Is In The Bathroom耶稣在卫生间里
22.The Audience And The Son观众和儿子
23.A Useful Lesson带儿子去喝酒
24.The Young Archer 年轻的弓箭手
25.List Your Sins列出你的过错
26.One Place Ahead 前进一名
27.The World Is Going To End 世界末日
28.It’s Hard To Tell One From The Other双胞胎难辨
29.You Are Afraid Of Mamma就怕老妈
30.Have His Cap Back 魔法帽子
31.The Consciousness Of Safety 安全意识
32.Piss And Sing 我想唱歌
33.Arithmetic Lesson算数作业
34.The Reason behind It 原来如此
35.Follow One’s Father 效仿老爸
36.A Gentleman 绅士
37.A Holiday from School假期
38.Stupid Orders 愚蠢的命令
39.Violin Lessons小提琴课
40.Letter To The Lord 写给上帝的信
41.How Do You Get Pregnant Then? 妈，你是怎么怀孕的呢？
42.Mom Put Us To Bed This Way Last Night妈妈昨晚让我们穿成这样睡的觉
43.Only One Cake Left 只剩一块蛋糕了
44.Why Does It Rain On The Road Too? 雨为什么也要下在路上呢？
45.Daddy，You Are Taking All The Good Ones 爸爸，你净拣好的吃
46.Little John Buys The Bread.小约翰买面包
47.She Wants To Keep Them她想占有它们
48.How You Work Out That Three Lots Of Two Rabbits Is seven 三组两只兔子加成七只?
49.Where’s My Booger? 我的鼻屎呢？
第四部分：名人幽默
1.Franklin Likes Gambling富兰克林打赌
2.President Reagon And Republicans里根与共和党人
3.Clinton Proposed To Hilary克林顿向希拉里求婚
4.President Anderson And the Devil 安德森总统与魔鬼
5.Clinton' Tragedy克林顿的“杯具”
6.If You Graduate from Yale,You Become President耶鲁出总统
7.The Queen Almost Gets Back To 1700s 小布什总统的口误
8.Bathe On Behalf Of Me 替霍夫曼洗澡
9.Tent Stolen 福尔摩斯的帐篷被偷
10.Let My Driver Answer It 爱因斯坦与司机
11.Worn Out Overcoat 爱因斯坦的破烂外套
12.OfftheCuff Remarks 丘吉尔的即兴妙语
13.Franklin 多才多艺的富兰克林
14.'The Pope Is Never Wrong' is Not True教皇永无过错？
15.Robert Scholz ' Hot Soup 肖尔兹要的热汤
16.Making up Stories 狄更斯编故事
17.Questions For George Bush 向布什总统提问题
18.Madonna,Britney And Christina 麦当娜等当红歌星
19.Which Is More Powerful 赫鲁晓夫更臭
20.Put Up With Her For Only 15 Minutes 林肯总统的无奈
21.Have No More Room For A Vice President 杰弗逊副总统没有客房住
22.Neither Am I The Vice President奥巴马不适做副总统
23.Clone Another Cheney 克隆一个副总统切尼
24.I Am A Sacrifice To The Terrible Epidemic Now 小布什总统嘴巴染上了口蹄疫
25.It Is A Shoe Size 10 小布什遭鞋袭
26.Wall Street Drank Too Much And Had A Hangover 布什：“华尔街喝高了”
27.Only Child Was Born There 华盛顿：“这里只有一个婴儿出生”
28.Rescue Clinton In The River克林顿河中获救
29.The Pope Himself Drives教皇本人亲自开车
30.One Way Street Wilson 我行我素的威尔逊
31.Candidates In The Air空中的总统候选人
32.What Did He Eat? 牛顿“吃饭”
33.A Story Of Jimmy Durante 杜兰特的单口相声
34.The General Theory Of Relativity爱因斯坦的相对论
35.Change Is Coming奥巴马：改变终会来临
36.A Strange Creature达尔文:奇怪的生物
37.Is the General Expecting You? 将军在等你吗？
38.Fred Allen The Foremost Humorist 弗雷德?艾伦，一位优秀的幽默家
第五部分：职场幽默
1.Business Just Started事业刚起步
2.Pink Suit Sale 粉红外套卖出去了
3.Ask For A Job With The Circus 马戏团的工作
4.The Generous Bosses 对我姐姐慷慨的老板
5.In Three Months' Time 三个月后再来干
6.Make Him A Conductor让他当乐队指挥
7.Hair Cutting 理发
8.Something Cheaper? 更便宜的
9.The Eager Beaver 工作狂
10.Editor’s Reply 编辑的答复
11.Volunteer Firemen志愿消防员
12.Encore!!返场
13.Parking A Car In A Bank 富翁停车
14.Job Interview 面试回答
15.Five Hundred Times 写上五百遍吧
16.A Real Estate Salesman推销房子
17.The Perplexed Clerk 困惑的店员
18.What If...如果…咋办？
19.Are Blind Pilots Flying? 盲人飞行员？
20.To Have His Hair Cut During Working Hours上班时间去理发
21.Musical Interlude 音乐插曲
22.An Amazing Salesman 不可思议的销售员
23.That’s Your Worry 那是你的事
24.Prepare Three Envelopes 锦囊妙计
25.In Prison VS.At Work 监狱与单位
26.Someone’s Deodorant Isnt Working谁的除臭剂不管用了？
27.The Correct Answer 最接近正确答案
28.Don’t Eat A Person Who Is Working 别吃干活的人
29.A1 Laundry顶级洗衣店
30.I Haven’t Got A Penny 身无分文
31.It’s An Extra另行收费
32.No Nuisance 省去麻烦
33.Post Haste 紧急邮递
34.That Smells Like Shit闻着像大便啊!
35.They Are Still Damp!床单还潮着哩!
36.A Wise Mans Advice 金玉良言
37.I Have Done It!我成功了!
38.I Am Not Stupid 我又不傻
39.Genuine Alligator Shoes真正的鳄鱼皮鞋
40.Nonconformist 另类分子
41.Please,Please Drop It!求求你，请放下它!
42.Successfully Or Unsuccessfully 胜任还是不胜任
43.The Wise Manager 聪明的经理
44.Did That Take You An Hour? 这花了你一个小时？
45.Wrong Number拨错号了
46.Anything Works? 什么有用？
47.Worst Waiter Of The Year年度最烂服务员
48.Is There Another Door? 还有其它门吗？
49.How To Answer? 如何回答？
50.Told You So告诉过你了
51.Who’s The Foreman 到底谁才是领班
52.Two Candidates For Political Office两个政府职务候选人
53.Reasons To Stay At Work All Night 成宿加班的理由
第六部分：医患幽默
1.Problem With Gas 医治放屁
2.The Warm Hearted Nurse 热心的护士
3.The Patient Suffered A Severe Relapse病情再度恶化
4.A Phone Call Of A Patient 一位病人的来电
5.Brain Transplant 大脑移植
6.Extract Wisdom Teeth 拔掉智齿
7.Psychiatrist精神病医生
8.Mental Deficiency诊断智力缺陷
9.Your Tongue Needs A Rest舌头也要休息好
10.Mary’s Heroic Act 患者救他人
11.Doctor’s Advice 医生的药方
12.Get The Cat Out First 先把猫弄出来
13.How Many Can Be Discharged 多少人能出院
14.A Brand New Brain 全新大脑
15.No Need To See A Doctor不必求医
16.A Man With Two Badly Burned Ears一个两只耳朵严重烧伤的男人
17.Expectant Fathers 准爸爸们
18.Use A Pencil 用铅笔吧!
19.You’re Going To Die!你快死啦!
20.Dead Men Do Bleed!死人真的流血呀!
21.Crazy But Not Stupid 疯狂但不愚蠢
22.God Will Pay The Bill 上帝付药费
23.Six Months To Live 最后六个月的时光
24.Surgeons 外科医生
25.Confusion 思维混乱
26.Diet At Lunchtime 午餐节食
27.The Face Lift整容
28.Is She Pregnant? 六十三岁老太婆怀孕？
29.We’d Better Perform A Caesarean还是剖腹产吧
30.That Is All She Needs这就是你太太所需要的......
31.It’s Rather Personal 这太隐私了
32.Belly Button 肚脐
33.You Must Be An Expert你一定是位专家!
34.A Newly Qualified Doctor一名新医生
35.A Reason To Live For 活着的理由
36.What The Heck Is Wrong With My Wife?我太太究竟怎么了
37.Poisonous Or Not 中毒没有
38.I’m Watching“ER”我正看《急诊室》哩!
39.Who Is The Patient? 谁是病人？
40.What Are You Doing By The Surgical Instruments? 你在手术器械旁边干什么
41.I’m An Obstetrician 我是个产科医生
42.I’ve Changed My Will Three Times!我的遗嘱已经修改三次了
43.On The Operating Table Awaiting Surgery在手术台上等待接受手术
第七部分：军营幽默
1.Punishment 惩罚
2.A Colonel On A Tour Of Inspection 上校视察
3.Protect Himself 保护自己
4.Woman Army Driver And Sergeant女司机与中士
5.Cover The Shadow With Sand 用沙子遮住影子
6.What’s Your Name? 你叫什么名字，士兵？
7.The Guard and The Smuggler哨兵查走私
8.Captain And His Sister 上尉的“妹妹”
9.I Missed Again 总是脱靶
10.Take his Weapon away from Him 夺走武器
11.That Officer Was Not Popular 该死的长官
12.A Soldier Asked For Marriage小兵请婚嫁
13.Two Soldiers两个士兵
14.Report To The Commander马上去见司令官
15.A Sergeant And A Dope 中士和蠢货
16.Midshipman Sleeps In Class 军校生上课睡觉
17.Two Sailors And A Baby两名水兵和一个娃娃
18.Go Away From The Battle逃兵
19.Officer,My Wife Is Getting Pregnant This Weekend长官，我妻子这周末准备怀孕
第八部分：校园幽默
1.Unavoidable Tricks 恶作剧
2.What Do They Laugh For? 他们在笑些什么
3.Sleep Over Lectures课上睡觉
4.We Are Here!我们来了!
5.Professor’s Logic 教授逻辑
6.Who Killed Abraham Lincoln 谁暗杀了林肯
7.A Boy’s ABC’s 男孩的基本情况
8.Part Time Job 学生兼职工作
9.Knock It Off,You Idiot!白痴，别敲了!
10.Plagiarism论文抄袭
11.A Girl’s Examination美女参加考试
12.Classmates Play Tricks On Each Other捉弄学友
13.Kidding不是在开玩笑吧？
14.A Skeleton Smoking 骷髅吸烟
15.A Naughty Student 淘气的学生
16.Copy The Notes 抄笔记
17.Cheating On Test考试作弊
18.Whiskey Does You Good威士忌有助身体健康
19.I Am The Goalie我是守门员!
20.Freshmen Versus Seniors 新生和老生
21.Student’s Reaction学生的反应
22.A Lesson On The Blood Circulation血液循环的课
23.You Are Stupid 你太愚蠢了
24.How To Clean The Mirror In The Toilet如何清洗卫生间的镜子
25.I Get A Zero On This Exam？本次考试我得零分？
26.A History Teacher and His Questions历史老师提的问题
27.Who’s The First Man 谁是世界上第一个人
28.Engineering VS.English Majors 工科学生与英专学生
29.Two Students Missing An Exam补考
30.An Unexpected Answer 意料之外的回答
31.Why Are You Laughing? 孩子们，你们笑什么？
32.Napoleon Was Ill 拿破仑生病了
33.How Much For A Season Pass? 办一个季度通行证要多少钱？
34.A Tough Teacher强悍的老师
35.An English Name起一个英文名字
36.Lecturing On Map Reading讲解如何看地图
第九部分：宗教幽默
1.Donate To Remodel The Church 捐款修建教堂
2.Blonde Sister 金发修女
3.Adultery通奸罪
4.The Young Priest 年轻牧师
5.The Cabdriver And The Preacher 出租车司机与传教士
6.My God我的上帝
7.Sleep During The Sermon 布道时打瞌睡
8.The Country Parson 乡村传教士
9.A Sin About Lying 说谎之恶
10.Praise God!感谢上帝!
11.A Problem With Dentures 牧师的假牙
12.A True Confession!诚实忏悔
13.Jesus“Saves” 耶稣“救人”
14.Complain Too Much牢骚太多
15.Selling At church Bazaar 教堂的义卖市场
16.The Archbishop Is Your Father大主教才是你的父亲
17.Black Eyed Buddy 唱圣歌的时挨打的君子
18.The Minister Helps The Man To Lose Weight神父助人减肥
19.The Parishioners And The Local Beauty Queen教民们窥看美女的....
20.Three Good Leads 牧师提供的偷情线索
21.God Got Mad上帝抓狂了
22.Do You Know What I Am Going To Preach Today? 知道我今天布道讲什么吗？
23.HE Didn’t Recognize You 上帝没认出你
24.My Dog Ate My Sermon狗吃掉了我的布道稿
25.A Nun At A Bar 修女也沾酒
26.A Better Offer 许了更好的愿
27.Church Talk 教堂语言
28.Soap And Water 肥皂、水与狗
29.Praying Before Meal饭前祷告
30.An Atheist 无神论者
31.Causes Of Arthritis关节炎起因
32.Mexican Food 墨西哥食物
33.A Screen Saver 都是屏保惹的祸
34.A Nun In The Costume Of Halloween 冒牌修女
35.Thanks To God感谢上帝
36.HE Wants To Talk With You 上帝要跟你聊聊
37.Between Church And State 政教之间
38.Money,Children And Sex 金钱，孩子和性
39.Some Twist 出乎牧师的意料
第十部分：酒吧宾馆
1.We Are Going To The Sun At Night 我们夜晚去太阳上面
2.A Sad Story悲惨故事
3.Would You Like A Shave Or A Haircut? 要刮胡子还是理头？
4.You Drink My poison......你还喝了我的毒药……
5.Nail Or Fly 钉子还是蝇子？
6.A Perfectly Calm Guest 一个相当镇定的房客
7.A Clean Glass 干净的杯子
8.Get Rid Of Wine 戒酒
9.A Drunken Man 一个醉鬼
10.I Want To Get Out 我要出去
11.Go Ice Fishing In The Ice Rink 冰场钓鱼
12.What’s The Problem? 怎么回事？
13.You Are The No.8 鱼儿上钩
14.Enough Or Drunk 喝够还是喝醉
15.Crawl To His Home 爬回家去
16.Photo 老婆的照片
17.I Can Bite My Eye 我能咬到自己的眼睛
18.A Bet In A Bar 酒吧打赌
19.Golden Saloon金色酒吧
20.Gay Family 同性恋家
21.Give Me My Change 快点找钱
22.Twins Are drunk At A Pub 双胞胎醉酒
23.Whisky Expert 品酒专家
24.Learn To Be More Polite 有礼貌点？
25.The Fearless One无畏之人
26.Two Befuddled Visitors 两位糊涂旅客
27.My First Day With The Hook第一次用钩子手
28.Very Large Toilet巨大的马桶
29.Wait and See 等着瞧
30.Free Dessert 免费甜点
31.Bring Me Another Martini!再给我拿一杯马提尼酒来!
32.Expensive Crackers 昂贵的饼干
33.The Other Half另一半
34.She Knows McDonalds Only 她只知道麦当劳
35.We’re Out Of Buns面包圈没有了
第十一部分：律师法庭
1.An old Negro 老黑头
2.Man Is Mistaken As A Bear 把人误当为熊
3.Perfect Contradiction 绝佳反击
4.And More Stupid 蠢上加蠢
5.Two More Words 再说两句
6.Win The Case 打赢官司
7.A Box Of Cigars 送雪茄给法官
8.What Will You Take？你想要什么？
9.Stealing Overcoat 偷大衣
10.One Side Of The Case 只听一面之辞
11.How to win the case 如何打赢官司
12.The Will 遗嘱趣事
13.One Less Lawyer 又少了一个律师
14.Free Advice? 免费咨询？
15.Why Is Lawyer Brain So Much More? 律师脑贵
16.A Check Given To A Dead 亡灵支票
17.Honest？你诚实吗？
18.Who Is Responsible？谁的责任
19.Have You Ceased Beating Your Wife? 你停止打你老婆了吗？
20.A Can Of Peas 还偷了一罐豌豆
21.A Divorce Lawyer 离婚律师
22.The Court Procedures法庭程序
23.The Jury Is To Convene In The Guilty Room陪审团到有罪室开会
24.Jesus Christ Is My Counselor And Defender耶稣基督就是我的辩护人和保护人
25.Sentenced To Death By Hanging Over The Cliff 在悬崖上执行绞刑
第十二部分：警察交通
1.Traffic lights 交通灯
2.The Motorcycler 骑摩托车的人
3.Tickets 罚单
4.Confusion In Compartment 车厢内的骚动
5.First Class Section 蹭头等舱
6.The Designated Decoy 引警察上钩
7.First Ride 第一次巡逻
8.A Good Solution好办法
9.Where Is My Rolex 我的劳力士呢？
10.A Bad Impression不良印象
11.A Good Lesson难忘的教训
12.A Flattered Man 受宠若惊
13.In The Directory 在电话簿里
14.Driving A Funeral Van 开殡葬车
15.A Test For Drunk Driving 醉酒驾车检测
16.A Good Excuse 绝佳借口
17.A Business Trip 出差
18.You Are Not The Flight Instructor? 上错飞机
19.But,officer,I......可是，警官，我......
20.The Drivers Wife 司机老婆
21.A Patient Mother 耐心的妈妈
22.Don’t Be Frightened!别害怕!
23.The Police Chase 警察的追捕
24.Are You Feeling Better Now? 现在感觉好些了吗？
25.The Worried Farmer 忧愁的农夫
26.How Do You Stop This Car？你是怎么停车的？
27.Where Am I我在哪儿呢
28.Back Home In A Police Car 警车送回家
29.Magic Words 神奇密语
30.How To Get The Different People To Jump Overboard 因人制宜
31.Rush For The Ticket 买票狂人
32.A Bank Stickup抢银行
33.Highway Patrol And Math Teacher高速公路巡警与数学老师
34.A New Recruit新来的警员
35.A Psychic Suspect 通灵的嫌疑犯
36.Finally Know Why I Never Made Detective我终于明白我为什么没当上探长了
37.Caught Speeding 超速被抓后
38.Bank Bankruptcy 银行破产
第十三部分：文字幽默
1.I Did Not See The Word NOT我没看见“不”字
2.How Old Are You?您多大了？
3.I Don’t Like That我不喜欢听那种话
4.Keys? Kiss? 是钥匙还是亲吻？
5.The Sign Is No Need 不必挂牌
6.Skip To Lose Weight 跳跃减肥
7.The Idiot Gave The Babies Names 白痴起名
8.An Elephant And A Lady 大象和女士
9.The Pot Which Has Had a Baby 会生小罐子的罐子
10.Ditto同上
11.Do Not Disturb 请勿打扰
12.That’s Not What I Meant我不是那个意思
13.He Changes His Names改名字
14.Not For Sale 非廉价出售
15.Changing Letter 多变的字母
16.I,You And She 遣词造句
17.Class,Lass And Ass 班级，情妇和蠢驴
18.Cow=Bullfight? 奶牛=斗牛？
19.Chinese English 中式发音
20.What’s The English For This这个用英语怎么说
21.Complicated Name 复杂的名字
22.One’Way Street单行道
23.Coldwater 凉水
24.He Missed One letter少写了一个字母
25.Mr.D.And Mr.N.两个傻帽
26.The Greeks Did希腊人遇到麻烦了
27.False Advertising 虚假广告
28.The Post Office Box 邮政信箱
29.Mr.Knott and Mr.Watt 布先生和沈麻先生
30.You’re The Man Who Needs A Shower 你就是那个要淋浴的
31.With Deepest Sympathy 致以深深的吊唁......
32.Translation Not Found 未能找到译文
33.Cheap But Good 价廉物美
34.Moving Target活动靶子
35.Miracle From Practices 反复练习出奇迹
36.A Singular Justification 一面之词
37.Synonym = Bad language同义词就是骂人的话
38.A Panda Walks into a Bar 熊猫进酒吧
39.Bank 河岸？银行？
40.Catch My Eye 令我着迷
41.Women’s Language Translate 女人的话
42.Socks 男人们的袜子
43.My Broken Shoes? 我的破鞋？
44.The W.C.Story 卫生间(W.C.)趣事
45.Do It Now 现在就做
46.Killer,Get Him!杀手，咬他!
47.I Want To Be A.....我想做一名......
48.Glossary 如此释义
49.Would And Wood愿意与木头
50.One Month Overdue 一个月没来
51.Proxy Fathers 代理父亲
第十四部分：动物幽默
1.The Dog Doesn’t Know狗不知道
2.Clever Dog 聪明的狗
3.Dog Temperament 狗的性情
4.Whose Dog Was The Smartest 谁的狗最聪明
5.Shut Up,You Idiot 闭嘴，你这白痴
6.The Way To Chase Away Chickens把鸡赶走的方法
7.Processing Color Film 洗彩色照片
8.What Did The Chicken Do? 那只鸡犯了什么错？
9.Who Is It?!谁呀？!
10.Beware Of Dog!当心有狗!
11.Elephant VS Ants Soccer Game 大象对蚂蚁的足球赛
12.Mr.Bear And Mr.Rabbit 熊先生和兔先生
13.The Centipede Puts On Its Shoes 蜈蚣穿鞋
14.A Drunken Cab 螃蟹喝醉
15.You Know That你知道我要说什么
16.An Intelligent Dog 精明的狗
17.The Rabbit’s Trick 兔子的诡计
18.Get the Umbrella 小乌龟取伞
19.The Spider Goes Deaf 蜘蛛变聋
20.Cat And Mouse 猫和老鼠
21.Blind Bunny瞎眼的兔子
22.Doggie Contest 狗狗们的竞赛
23.A Bilingual Dog 会说两门语言的狗
24.Whose Dog Is This 谁的狗
25.A False Friend 虚假的朋友
26.Mousetrap And Mouse Picture捕鼠器与老鼠照片
27.You Believe A Donkey ? 相信驴的话
28.Then Where Is My Cat? 那我的猫去哪儿了？
29.Ambitious Dog Mother 望子成龙的母狗
30.Male Pigeons Always Eat Female Worms,Female Pigeons 雄鸽总是吃母虫,而雌鸽......
31.Catty Cat 阴险的猫
第十五部分：综合幽默
1.A Fishy Story钓鱼故事
2.I’m A Grandfather!我当爷爷了!
3.Two Smart Blind Men两个聪明的盲人
4.A Boring Man 无聊之人
5.I Want The Bastard That Pushed Me In 谁在捣鬼
6.Sperm Bank 精子银行遭劫
7.Water Or Wine? 水还是红酒？
8.Extend The Life Of Fans 为电扇延寿
9.The Watermelon 西瓜
10.I Am Lucky 我很幸运
11.Placing Stamps On A Letter 给信封贴邮票
12.How Did You Know He Was A Bandit? 你怎么知道他是个强盗？
13.An Englishman And A French Barber 英国人和法国理发师
14.It Is Me 那是我
15.Who Is Shakespeare 莎士比亚是谁
16.Birthday Rose 生日玫瑰
17.Gave It A Drink 喝茶
18.She Wouldn’t Jump A Second Time 她不会跳第二次
19.This Hole In The Ground 地上的洞
20.Dropped A Piece Of Candy掉了一小块糖
21.Special Kiss 特殊的亲吻
22.The Deaf Collector 聋子收钱
23.Smoker 吸烟的女士
24.I Am Acting Like A Lady 表现得像女士
25.I’m Calling To Report My Neighbor 检举揭发
26.Pay For The Mother 为“妈”埋单
27.Grass Eater 吃草的人
28.A Trick Does Long Way 一招解决大问题
29.The Servants Ruse仆人的诡计
30.City Fellow 城里人
30.City Fellow 城里人
32.I Am Not Afraid Of You 我可不怕你们
33.Some People Will Never Learn 有些人永远也不肯接受教训
34.Eat,Coat!大衣，你吃吧!
35.Don’t Let Him In 别让他进来
36.Why Don’t We Find That Woman? 我们为什么不找到那个女人？
37.The Snow On The Path 小路上的雪
38.A Funnier Joke我这个更有趣
39.The Man and the Chair 两个男人抢椅子
40.Small Frying Pan 煎锅太小
41.That Man Knows The Future 能预知未来的人
42.Don’t Forget To Look To The Right 别忘了向右看
43.We Didn’t Step On It 还好没踩到
44.The Discovery探索发现
45.One Egg Less少了一个
46.Who Should Change? 谁该换？
47.A Burglar Can’t Find Me Either贼也找不到我
48.Queue Jump 插队
49.Pick Out Your Husband.挑出你丈夫
50.I Can Turn Him Off Whenever I Please我可以随意把他给关掉
51.That’s My Husband我的丈夫在车里
52.Good Marksmanship 好枪法
53.Who Should Take It 这药该谁吃
54.Try On Clothes 试衣服
55.Pushed The Wrong Button按错了按钮
56.Can You Tell Me Where We Are? 您可以告诉我这是什么地方吗
57.Not A Good Excuse 不是个好借口
58.Im An Undertaker 我是殡仪馆的
59.Good Morning,Garden Cemetery早上好，这里是花园墓地
60.Which Is Which? 雌雄难辨
61.Get Out Of Here! 你给我滚出去!
62.Hi Hi Hi Hi It!Whi Whi Whi Whi End? 打打打打呀!哪哪哪哪头啊？
63.Not Want to be an Artist 不想当画家
目 录内容简介
《每天读点英文幽默故事全集》精选535篇令人捧腹的幽默小故事，包括家庭幽默、两性幽默、天真童趣、名人幽默、职场幽默、医患幽默、军营幽默、校园幽默、宗教幽默、酒吧宾馆、律师法庭、警察交通、文字幽默、动物幽默以及综合幽默等十五章。本书编排采取中英对照的方式，是原汁原味的英文和地道中文的完美结合，不论是语言表达，还是故事内容，都堪称经典。对于故事中的生词、词组都逐一作了注释，使读者在理解幽默故事的同时，扩大词汇量。阅读这本书，体会那些滑稽、诙谐、荒诞、令人捧腹的语言背后耐人寻味的丰富内涵，更有助于培养一种乐观、积极、自信的人生态度。
★中英对照，文章短小精悍，语言原汁原味，是你双语学习的很好的读本！
★精彩译文，让阅读中文也是种享受！
★注释详尽，所注之意均为文中含义，免去理解上的困惑。
★经典，畅销，幽默，值得收藏的幽默故事大全集！
★每天坚持读一点，让你成为一个会讲幽默故事的人！
★中英对照，文章短小精悍，语言原汁原味，是你双语学习的很好的读本！
★精彩译文，让阅读中文也是种享受！
★注释详尽，所注之意均为文中含义，免去理解上的困惑。
★经典，畅销，幽默，值得收藏的幽默故事大全集！
★每天坚持读一点，让你成为一个会讲幽默故事的人！
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